The adoption process has been so incredibly challenging that we couldn't even write about it until now......Sorry for the delay...but we are on the other side....and looking back can share the ups and downs.
Our case was unusually difficult due to inconsistancies in wording on her paperwork, missing mother, details lost in translation etc.....Getting the facts correct and communicating them across all parties: Ministry of Women's Affairs, Ethiopian Court, US Embassy....and going back to the birth family at each step....this is what took so long in a developing country. Meanwhile our family waits state side, powerless, and emotional....and our soon to be child's time in an orphanage drags on. The hardest part was the uncertainty, we are matched with her, falling in love with that face, trying to prepare, but still wondering "will we actually get to bring her home? Is she adoptable? Will she be stuck there alone forever?" We would get news that our case is moving forward and become hopeful, then a punch in the gut....another delay. Some examples: The power is out in the translation office....Rainy season....Noone in Ethiopian court came back to work after lunch break.....internet and phones are not working today in Ethiopia. We were missing valuable bonding time and precious emotional development and milestones with our daughter....we can never get that back.....! We have experienced anger with the system, desperation to help her, sadness about lost time, fear of the long term affects this will have on her, just to name a few of the emotional storms over the last year.
Our timeline was as follows (not even close to the estimated timeline initially given by the agency):
Nazret (our second referral) was referred to us on 6/28/2013
She was brought to the IAN Care Center in Addis Ababa 10/13/13
PAIR Process began 11/13/13
PAIR letter Recieved 3/13/14
Submitted to Ethiopian Court 3/20/2014
Her court date in Ethiopia 4/1/14
Our Court date in Ethiopia 5/29/14
Submitted to Embassy 7/7/14
Arrived in USA 7/11/14
We were told about 4 months after referral and she could be home......well....13 months later we are finally together and despite the traumatic process we are thrilled!
How did we get through it? Tears, wine, good friends & family, books, talking with other adopting families, prayer, music, exercise.
What we learned...that patience is not a strength of ours, that we don't have control and we needed to let it go!
Best moments....first time meeting our child! Trip to Ethiopia with my hubby, getting the official court decree! Adventure to Nazret's birth place to learn more about her past. Airport reunion of our whole family and seeing the new siblings interact despite language barriers.
Photos to come!
